8/2/10 Villar de Mazarife to Astorga, day 120

8/2/10 Villar de Mazarife to Astorga, day 120
I had not signed up for breakfast, which meant I had nothing to wait around for... I thought i'd get coffee along the way in town... again it was the noise of my fellow pilgrims that got me going.. I dont need alarm clocks here...I got out of there by six. I had hoped to find open place for coffee but following Camino signs I missed the bar turn off, so it would be a very long walk to next town with coffee... I have marveled repeatedly on this walk at how long I can go without coffee in the morning and still manage to walk 8 or sometimes even 24kms before my first cup.. I really thought I was too addicted to be able to do that, I felt very rugged. The stretch out of town. Dark flat and on tar road.. not nice, it felt endless.. It felt like a long 9.5kms to Villavante for first coffee. At the bar the woman only had plastic rapped baked goods, would it anyway ....but coffee was good!! ran into everyone from night before including swiss M and american guy.. We were all goaling for the town, Astorga. This was a long day for me. 32Kms. M and I fell into walking together for the day. She still recovering from her injury tendon inflammation. I had walked maybe half day alone and half day with her. It was such different company, there felt like I had more freedom, and the idea of absolutely having to walk the last ten days by myself seem to be forgotten... since it was apparently just a matter of the company I was keeping. Throughout the day we ran into the two spanish school teachers.. one looked overheated she had sunburn and to protect it she had put on the only long sleeve thing she seemed to have a wool sweater top... in this heat, pure masochism... .. Also the irish man also seemed to have heat struggles. For me the dry desert like heat was not a problem for most of the day.. at one point I had a craving, I really wished for juice and water ..at one point I came across this stand, outside a old barn, and what do you know, free juice, cookies and fruit, as per my mental request...ask the camino and it shall provide!.

.. it was totally donation based, very sweet .. the breaks were frequent and long. I was not surprised that the walk day stretched to three thirty. We stopped at outskirts of Astorga after a seeming 1 km walking across a ridiculously zigzag bridge over a rail line. That really did us in. we stopped at an auberge on the outskirts just to get a drink...this semi senile old lady then tried to guilt trip and pressure us to stay the night there., but it was too far on the outskirts we wanted into town... she was needling M to make us stay and saying negative things about foreigners,she seemed too old to realize perhaps that we were foreigners as well, in fact M had to translate for me.... . SA the Parisian woman, joined us here. We all walked up into the hill of Astorga. Past the first auberge and headed for the private one further in . It seemed clean and user friendly. Also we got a business card with pilgrim discount at the Gaudi restaurant. There was a a cathedral and next to it a Gaudi palace, across from it the Guadi hotel bar and restaurant. It was decided we are too late for siesta so I did shower, and laundry. Melanie went to explore the town and SA soaked her feet and wrote journal next to me..it was her last night as a pilgrim. She was now going on a beach holiday and perhaps we would see her in santiago. Around sevenish, we went to find a bar, I ordered an extra large beer which always seems to impress the bar geezers, here, they raise surprised brows as I walk out with my 2kilo mug. We sat around and b.s.'d till we thought the restaurant might open. When we got there it was still too early so we had another drink at the bar. Astorga seems to be the town of sweets, we passed a lot of shops like that. I did not have a chance to sample though... I did see weird things like pink and orange chocolate bars..

Dinner, it was in a pretty fancy place. My choice, salad and salmon..good portions and tasted good, not at all vegetarian but in spain that is very very hard. SA shared with us some of her multi return camino experiences and little wisdoms she gained.... she had just started out as a regular hiker who really did not know what she was doing (sounded familiar) Eventually her mind turned and she became a real pilgrim. She said the Camino has definitely changed her and here friends and family have noticed. Things flow more easily for her, she does not get stress out about little things as much. She's more free and relaxed. She said the Camino answered questions she did not know to ask. She works for a private company in diplomacy.... it sounds a bit mysterious and like she's over-simplifying what it really is... I feel I am forgetting some of the cool things she said. But she did mention the Camino is always was with her when she is not on it which sounds interesting. I think there is a special relationship that people who do the camino in stages over several years have.. some how i feel they integrate their camino experience into their life more by returning to it so often and in different stages of theri own minds and lives...I felt i had some of the best conversations with these kind of pilgrims...She also said... Camino taught her... if you are not struggling right now and enjoying things, really appreciate that because things can change in very few minutes...We had a great eve together. When we returned, auberge was completely full ..we had a bunch of young students and a large number of bicycle pilgrims... which would prove an issue in the morning with noise. I passed out before SA returned from the bathroom so I did not get to say a proper goodbye to her...

8/1/10 Leon to Villar de Mazarife day 119

8/1/10 Leon to Villar de Mazarife day 119
I woke up with the first noises in the room of people packing and fleeing...S was still snoring.. I got up quietly and packed... and brought my half packed bags outside, a lot of us do this in order to spare our neighbors the rustling noises and the random flash light movements that packing would involve.. especially when you get up before most of the others do, but I was also sneaking out and away... .. it was 5;30. they did have breakfast but I didnt want to wait. I had some of my own bread and cheese. And two coffees from the machine.. Al was also there.. he had slept only four houts...the mens room sounded even hotter than the womans....i asked if I could use him as guide out of the city.. finding trail markers in cities is sometimes more difficult than small towns or even nature... so we walked first two hours or so, together.. he knew a bit of a short cut out.. and yet we had to walk 8 or more kms to find an open cafe.. We ran into the swiss girl M. her leg injuries had made her have to take a bus through the Mesetta part of the Camino and then rest in Leon for a few days, today was her first day walking again. The trail split, and one went along the road and the other more through arural less trafficy route,but was a several kms longer stretch. ..the place I wanted to go to was on the longer road... it was a choice of 21kms away, so a shorter walking day, the next place with lodging after that was 36kms, I was not in the mood for that much walking.  Al was going on ahead so I was pretty sure today would be the last time i'd see him..My walking is slower and more painful again. S caught up with us she had actually found a french speaking american man to walk with.. He was Episcopalian from Pasandera LA ..It was his first day on the camino. Me and Al had had fun walking together alone in the morning he talked to me of lutons in brittany which are french trolls. We joked and laughed a lot. But now it was different dynamic. S started walking ahead with Al who was now increasing his speed which was his habit, to start out very slow and midmorning start walking faster... the american walked with me for a while until he too grew tired of my pace...they all started walking ahead of me. I felt hot and irritable early. In Chozas Deabajo I found a bar and had a sandwich. I kinda knew I would not see them again because they were all headed on to the further destination, but I did not say good bye to any of them either.

In Villar de Mazarife, my destination, I thought I spotted them some how behind me again, but maybe not. I booked into the first auberge. I asked about private room but she wanted 30. so I took an auberge dorm bed instead and signed up for their veggie paella dinner. Hoping it would not suck. The dorm room was huge and would only fill a quarter full. It was not the cleanest, and yet I still got lucky and faced no bed bugs.. a nagging worry of mine..since i'd seen other pilgrims with the tell tale signs and heard stories.. .. I took a bed by a wall and window. A little separate from others. I showered and did laundry.. . I took a siesta. I slept pretty long. I had arrived at noon and did not rouse till three thirty.. Then I decided to circle the small town a bit. I wanted  a beer and to journal. I went to another auberge which had a bar. The local bar was packed full of old men playing games. So I went to the 'pilgrims' bar instead. I ran into the swiss girl and american guy from earlier ..found out Al and S had eaten lunch here. S had asked for my where abouts. They had then walked on. I vented a bit about codependence and how weird it is that some one who didn't seem to like my style would then chose to cling to me like that …M listened but felt I should have communicated to S verbally about needing my space... We also reconnected and talked .since I had met her over a week ago and had not seen her since...we talked about camion experience struggles and insights.

Then I went back to my auberge for dinner. A surprisingly sizable group came down for dinner. Lots of new pilgrims. the group included four italians. A german mom and daughter, an irish man, and two spanish school teachers. A very friendly group. The food was great actually, which I had not expected from the under-enthusiastic conditions of the place, nice to have true vegetarian meal that tasted great ..me and the irish guy, a gentle fellow, chatted a bit ... He is a very soft sweet guy, but he had been struggling with bouts of anger about old issues in his life, that were coming up for him on the Camino...He reminded me of young men at meditation retreats who get confronted by their anger and are shocked at the extreme rage that comes up for them.. The camino has been a struggle for him.... being on my own again, I did feel freer and only now did I realizing how stifling it had been to have someone always around me that was an ill fitting travel companion... but M had been right, I should have clearly communicated my wish to be alone or apart..even though it had not been that clear to me until after the fact... but learning to communicate your needs clearly and kindly is something I hope to improve..

7-31-10 Mansilla de las Mulas to Leon day 118

7-31-10 Mansilla de las Mulas to Leon day 118
There was no breakfast included..I had some instant coffee and bread left overs from the dinner last night .. I was ready to leave but S, wasn't, I told it's okay she would catch up with me anyway, but no, I got the 'just a minute' from her, and we were walking together again..but today was the day, that I put my speculations I had about her down, and instead asking why she was with me, I asked myself why was I with her?, politeness? Because I need a 'three bells fire' reason not to be?.. I realized that I could think about these questions without remaining in her company... I was reminding myself that I only had a few more days left on the camino, and that perhaps the last ten days I really should walk alone, as I had walked alone for most of this pilgrimage... and that I could not see myself walking with this person to santiago...therefore I needed an exit... ...she had always had a faster pace and I could not keep up with her anymore, my body was rebelling as well... so today l did not even try to quicken my pace... I fell more and more behind, so that in fact I was walking by myself... she would still stop to wait for me at times, but less frequently...she hooked up with a french group ahead of me and I really thought she was going with them....but no, I would see her again alone.. . . the landscape got urban and less interesting and my feet got sore from the tarmac, but really I was mostly irritated by my ill fitting travel companion situation. I let her get further and further ahead. I stopped at a gas station for a snack and electrolyte drink, she had noticed, she came back and found me. Just at the same time the german woman A joined us, she too got a drink at the gas station...but her's was a beer, S raised a brow.... Then to the auberge. It was noon and there was a big check in line. Women and men where at first kept separate but later the as the place filled up, and the new people being mostly men..filled in the spaces on the woman's floor.. it was a nunnery.. it had crowded beds. I took a ten minute nap.. S had arranged to walk around town lead by the french camino veteran Al.. it sounded like a good idea at the time since I did enjoy Al's company a lot..but every thing was closed and it was hot.. and I started wilting more and more.. I should have tried to rest more or sleep more I realized too late... we stopped for a a beer and then eventually the cathedral opened. I realized I could have just napped till 4.30 and then seen things. One of the cathedrals had a a museum attached with cool 12th cent. Frescos.. S did not want to pay the four euro fee. I did not care I wanted to go in..then of course she went to.. Al said it was worth it. There was naïve art there and I realized this does not mean it is armature art. How do they manage to have such beautiful simple pieces without it seeming amateurish?...it's done with such certainty...how can I bottle it and apply it in my art?

Al revealed he was an artist. He showed us some drawings downloaded on his i-phone. Layers and layers of pencil on top of each other. Anatomic drawings. They do look cool and had a repetitive but not sloppy. Al walks around in well worn safari outfit with often a white stained shirt, he is proud of his cuban sun hat, but it too has tape holding it together.. yet his art is a counter point to his appearance, it has a very controlled aspect to it. He also showed us multiple oil patels of a landscape near his home in Brittany. We run into the other young french woman, SA, the one I can communicate with easily. She has decided to walk to Astorga and quite there, and not complete the santiago camino this year, but go on beach holiday instead... her foot problem has warned her that this year is not the year to conclude the final Etapes....... she did not want to return straight from walk to work world all burned out from too much rigorous hiking. she asks to join us for dinner.... We return around six to the auberge I do some of my little chores.. I needed some alone time and take it. S went with a polish lady back to the cathedral for a evening mass. We all had decided to meet for dinner around seven. S did not show up so we get going around 7.15.. then she does appear last minute... we are a large enough group where making executive decisions seem to come hard... but we settle on a restaurant...S had tried to herd more french peeps to our group but they did not seem interested in following her... we found a not so special place and had a small portioned meal. I tried to speak with Al and SA in english...S, in a rare moment of assertiveness hijacks the conversation, and the rest of the meal is french only... I decide that this will be my last day or evening in her company.. I finally make the executive decision I probably should have a few days ago.....
Al has also done the camino 8 times, and he knows special places to eat, so he brings us to a pricey but good chocolate specialty cafe. It is very nice but I was really tired and had a bit of a heat headache. Also we had 9.30 curfew, and I heard they strictly enforce it here, so if you come back late, you are locked out for the night.... I went back to the auberge with SA.. Al went with S to some place for a drink..... once back at the auberbe we had to wait around for their special pilgrim's evening mass.. I displeased an old spanish man from s's group when he asked me my religion and I told him buddhist. he gave me this look, like then what are you doing here? Usually pilgrims don't judge each others religious beliefs, so he is an exception.... the service itself was short and quite nice and they gave us a blessing. At the end they had a few words in spanish english and german.. but not french... which pleased me secretly... because of having spending several days with someone who obsessively thought out all other french speakers and letting me know about them..and letting me feel a bit bad about speaking german.. ... I obviously had reached my limit, with her.. the mass ended right around my bed time.... back in the room it would be a hot night with much tossing and turning... and I thought I heard people outside trying to get in but it was half dream, so I was not sure...

7-30-10 Bercianos del Real Camino to Mansilla de las Mulas day 117

7-30-10 Bercianos del Real Camino to Mansilla de las Mulas day 117

A 26kms day... I got going a little before 7ish.. I could feel it would not a strong walking day again. Perhaps the speed i'd been keeping with S was beginning to impact me after all... I felt a bit like I am annoying S because I was walk too slow...more and more I fell behind, and I was okay with that...she would impatiently wait for me at points...i still felt like somehow I had not read the contract to this relationship, and somehow I had signed up for something I was not really wanting to deal with...and yet, I was not taking any action to change the situation, because it did not feel I could pin down what was going on... At a break, I had coffee and started talking to this older german man.. a familiar face on the Camino, i had met a few times. Hes done the camino ten times, which is wonder-some, first it is impressive, but second I do wonder at people who only walk the camino, and seem to take no other vacations or spiritual paths... but I do know people get addicted to the camino, and I wonder if I too, would be drawn to doing it again..once I forgot the painful bits..... he talked about 'du-zing', the german custom of changing from the formal to the informal you...a lot of older german speakers on the camino insist that here we could say 'du' to each other... this man, kind of made it seem like I was lucky for it.. he had certain airs..but he knew his stuff, he was a professor back home.... he also talked about the two different worlds of camino and home life...i was enjoying the conversation in a language I was fluent in...then S reminds me it was time to move on. Despite the fact that she prefers to speak french when ever possible and even to me at times, she seems vaguely irritated when I speak german.....i notice I start thinking more negatively of S although I still have not taken action to initiate change.. I think I am confounded by the fact that there really isn't anything major wrong... and I don't get that just me not being into the constant company is enough of a cause to ask to be alone... I dont set a boundary because I am perplexed by how someone who does really so little wrong can still bugs me somehow... so I stay with the situation longer....see how it unfolds.... we run into A, the german woman who is the suspect alcoholic, on our little camino circuit and I like her so much more for it to spite S's fundamentalism around alcohol, although, she herself does drink.. We pass A a few times.... She had a scare with a man the other day when she took rest. She'd been under some trees and this half dressed man just kind of pops up in front of her and he looks in both directions to see if there are witnesses...she gets away from there as quickly as possible and starts heading back from where she came in hopes of running into other pilgrims.. she does...and walks close to them for safety.... so, now she wants to walk near but not with others.. I think back on my multi-month walk across three countries and realized that I did not have any big scares like that, and I am lucky for it... but it did make me think about how often I was alone on hills, in woods, in open landscapes, if I hurt myself or if an ill meaning human approached me I would have been very very vulnerable, and yet while I was in those situations I did not think about the potential dangers at all....
A is no longer with the belgium man, but asks about him.. in the following days, I would find her often asking others about him...
I had a a big lunch 'cuz I was feeling hungry after yesterdays meager meals... Today's tempo was more to my liking, we walked and took breaks in such a pace, that we arrived at 3.20ish, which is good for my siesta time.. Reliegos was the destination town. It felt like a very long 13kms to get there after lunch ...Our route, was along side the road, but on a separate path.. The landscape is rolling hills here under passes with graffiti that is both racist and transphobic..the latter surprised me, first, that there was enough of awareness of this groups existence and that in this rather rural place someone saw fit to react against the community...we were in the radius of a bigger city and I suspect a city with a strong gay presence which apparently threatened a vocal small group of people in the outskirts.. anyway, I realized seeing this kind of hate graffiti along the camino route, which was suppose to be a spiritual path angered me...it's also a path that not just local people use, but a rather international group of people that would see these words and images...but it was a reminder real life issues and the spiritual path are not separate at all, ever..... I tried to talk about it with S, but she either did not understand or was not really moved by the same issues I was...over the course of several day of walking with her with limited conversation I had realized that she know a lot more about me than I know about her. When I did ask about her, (usually I prefer for people to unfold themselves as they wished, but if that did not happen I did start asking some questions) ...with S, I got short simple answers that did not lead to further conversation.. either it was the language barrier or other things I could only speculate on... and I did...In the town I ran into the german professor and this time he was with his wife, they did not always walk together ..... he might have an edge but she just has a wall.. it seems you cant say anything to her without some harsh reprimand... i learned through others mistakes as poor A asked about why she did not walk with her husband she got her head bit off.. for some reason they both liked me though.. We got into argument about illegal immigration.. its an issue in europe as well... and I have to say that man has much better, well thought out points than I did.. I still hold my opinion, that we are a human family and we need to take care of each other and I believe most people on this planet would not choose to leave their homes if conditions where not so bad..and I believe the reason so many poorer political unstable countries are what they are has so much to do with what we northern western countries have done historically to these cultures...but it is a sensative topic... a lot of europeans and americans fear being overrun by the foreigners and especially in europe with much better social services, they feel that these people are using the system and not contributing etc etc... … I would love to see a world with out borders... where people had choice, like I have.. I would love to share my privileged... but what if the flood gates where completely open, ...would it be a catastrophe and for how long? Would things naturally level out as they tend to in nature? But again, I realized that I had not studied the problem very deeply, I was just arguing from my gut, so from the standpoint of a good debate I definitely lost...but I was grateful for the opportunity to be forced to think of my views more deeply..
Mansila de las Mullas was only a few more kms.. the auberge there, was municipal, which sometimes means meager, impoverished..dingy... but this one was charming with a courtyard.. with flowers and a cute warm dyke running the place. Even tried to help me with my computer later. We got a still empty room so we had 1st dips on the bed... and I got a lower bunk... near the window. Funny how delighted I was to have this choice, my wishes are getting more simple.. nothing makes me happier than a lower bunk! I showered and laundered.. and took siesta.. the young italian couple was there and we now have a good rapport..checking in with each other on our days...
I did have a a nap if not a long one. S tried to siesta but could not ..she seems to have no body problems nor is she in need of rest.. in eve I really try to sneak out for dinner, but got roped in by S again.. huge communal meal, mostly men who are older spanish and french...meal tuns out to have ham... I get this look from s like I should just eat it anyway.. I bolt and get a beer and salad nearby.. .. I do return after my meal and rejoin the table, they had a little party with lots of wine.. melon and cookies.. there is guitar and song and an italian lady was dancing quite well. It was a fun little party, and S was actually drinking wine, trying to refuse but with little will, she seemed embarrassed by her giggleness, but clearly she was also having fun...I still managed to get to bed by ten. .

7-29-10 Calzadilla de la Cueza to Bercianos del Real Camino day 116

7-29-10 Calzadilla de la Cueza to Bercianos del Real Camino day 116
I woke a little after six... get going by 6.30 but we got coffee inn town.. so its 6:45 by time we actually start to walk.. I thought I'd be walking 24kms so I did not mind the late start.. again with heat of the day it is best to get your walking done early ..so 6:45 is kind of late..also I believe when you walk with someone it's a different kind of schedule from the one you'd have on your own.....I could feel in my body right away, that it would be a hard day.. we walked fast pace again.. despite doubts we did get pretty far pretty early.. hitting towns pretty frequently...which meant that we arrived in Shagun by noon. At times we walked over 5kms an hour..the landscape was a bit more interesting than yesterday...the blue skies and dry grass landscape with striking yet simple plaster walled houses tickled my eyes.... I was torn about the company I was keeping, on the one hand she helped me go faster but I did feel a bit tense about lack independence.. but she seemed harmless and the company was quiet..yet there was this doubt creeping in.. but I could not make a decision whether to split from her or not.. .., in Sahagun..we left our packs in a pilgrim's auberge and walked around bit ...She seemed to be interested in seeing things in this town.. I told her she would take the lead but that I also wanted to sit for a little bit and have a rest... she had a map and directions on what to see, but then did not seem to follow through.... I did stop at a electronics store in hopes of finding some solution to my lap top.. I got cord that supposedly could connect to another screen so I could at least open up my computer...but later I would discover that the formating is different enough from these small lap tops that it is not an automatic as I had hoped.. .. by two we left the city... without seeing the church or anything she had initially wanted to... on our way out of town she seemed bummed that she could not linger..i tried to let her know she could do what she wanted...but she ended up walking with me again....i had decided to keep walking even though I kinda knew it was a bad idea with the impending heat ...

we walked from 2 to 4.30 which was again too late in the heat and my km day stretched to over 30 which is always hard on me..... near the end, my body felt wrecked.. hips hurt.. I took 3 ibuprofens this day. When we arrived at our auberge for the night, we were told by everyone we came too late.. and should avoid afternoon sun..duh... This place was donation based auberge.. I talked to a french swiss girl who also barely spoke english, we had both been inspired by reading Paulo Coehlo's book to start our own walk of the camino..

and S found a bunch of french peeps that she could chat with..The dinner here was communal and free,... because of S and because I was not exerting my will, I was in company at dinner with only the french people and no one spoke english, I made a note to myself to find a more mixed national group next time, if I had to eat communally... I was not quite sure how vegetarian the soup I ate was but it and salad were my only options..... I could not get my ipod charged up because of the issues with my lap top... it was still my only real antidote against loud snorers...S got me to go to a catholic mass, it was suppose to be a special blessing for us pilgrims.. I went somewhat reluctantly... S seemed to be a rather devote catholic, and somehow I had not been inclined to talk to her about the fact that I was not.. ..but I was here on a catholic pilgrims path, and I think getting blessings for this journey from any tradition was a good thing... it was thankfully a short affair completely in spanish, because the chapel was bloody hot..even the spanish ladies in the rows in front of me had there beautiful fans out and used them rigorously..... My body seemed full of complaints today, feet seem more sore than usual.. and my hips..
the section I was sleeping in had a new wave of pilgrims ..they are loud and and excited, speaking I think polish, and drinking wine ...armed only with earplugs, they made me grumpy...but it did not go on too late.. auberge living is hard on days when I need quality alone time.. ..and on rereading this update a few months later, I sure sound like I was having an off day this day..