Needless to say I did not get a lot of sleep.. my guess it was about 3.5 hours. I got up around sevenish but my motivation to get going was slow.. first I had internet and then I just did not have energy... I knew also I did not have to do too much walking relatively... the first hour went okay but then I started feeling tired..so again I took breaks as I needed them and I needed them!.. … the weather was again overcast which helped a little with keeping the temperature down... I was beginning to see sunflowers in the fields opening.. my relationship to animals was prominent in my mind... occasionally I would see the wild deer or rabbit flee from me.. and some insects as well, reminding how much of nature sees itself as prey...
I had one bigger beetle raise it's antennas as if ready for an attach because it had felt my foot steps.. horses and cows dont seem to be afraid of me at all, in fact they often come to the fence to check me out and if I talk to them their ears perk... today a cow did a low resonating moo-growl that was more like I would expect an elephant to make..it was spooky and cool... I had passed some pig fields the day before..in the first field some of the pigs actually came briskly walking towards the fence they had to check me out..
the next field the pigs reacted almost opposite..many of them were sleeping next to each other ..yes, like sausages in a row... one or two of them called alarm as I walked passed and most of them roused themselves in a hurry to get away from the fence...only one or two remained laying there looking at me a bit dubiously but not stressed enough to get up.... it just makes me realize how little I really know about animal behavior and what to expect or not to...which brings me back to dogs.... I had this feeling today about dogs and some how that I would have to confront that fear again... ever since that one incident where I had felt cornered by the two dogs... my confidence around dogs has deteriorated again... I had grown used to dogs off leash in Seattle. And how they did not seem to be a threat at all and I even started petting dogs after I asked the owners...but now like revisiting the height phobia thing in italy...one incident evoking fear seemed to escalate the next time I confronted the same fear...one thing I also felt is that I really was not up to the task of working with this fear at all.. I was tired.. and felt vulnerable... at one point as the road crossed I could see three dogs roaming free, they were totally on the route I had to take.. they were preoccupied with themselves..but I did not want to go near them... I knew I could not fake confidence... so I vacillated for a while not knowing what I should do... finally I decided to go on the road parallel and then cut across past where they were along a fence... which is what I did..avoiding my problem... then later I would come around a blind turn...and a dreaded open gate..again three dogs came charging out...two were small and seemed not to want to do anything other than bark...but a slightly large one did that crouching snapping at me thing that I just read as 'I want to bite you' … I threatened it with my stick not wanting to hurt it but not wanting to get bit either... it backed off and the other dogs did not escalate.. a young man in the window upstairs laughed at me... clearly in his eyes I had over reacted... I said in a huffy voice the only thing that could come to me 'road for the pilgrims' or some such.... in bad french...indicating that I had the right to pass here safely with out being challenged by territorial dogs... as I got away from there... I was shaken.... after that I got more and more leery of open gates and farms and houses on the path...of which there seem to be too many.... up till now the loose dog was a rarity but something about this region... people let their dogs roam free, I think they just assume that most people grew up with animals like themselves, and if a dog got too out of hand they would know what to do...and that they would not see a threat whereas I did... later on again I saw a big lump of a dog laying right square in the path.. he had not notice me..again... feeling foolish I looped around him through the corn field where there was an opening for the power-lines... I safely passed him...then just as I crossed the road to continue on I saw another dog... I know that I am not usually this panicky about dogs...but the fear had me.. and it would not let go... so again I hesitated... finally I pulled out my cheese, wishing I had dog biscuits, and cut some off in hopes it would make a good bribe... I approached the dog and it of course scurried away.... after I passed it came out shyly and I tried to gently drop the cheese in it's path but it must have thought I was throwing some thing at it..and it backed off.. ironic, I know... I continued on in this weird state for the rest of the day...finally I arrived in Anoye later than I'd thought because of my frequent breaks..i mistakenly went to the wrong gite...not really the wrong one but it was one not listed in the book the one in the book was the community one which are usually very cheap...but it was Saturday eve and I had no cell phone and the Mairie was closed.. so I think I might have had a hard time getting into the 'right' Gite...but like I said I went to the wrong one..it was private...i rang a few times... and all I i could here through the door, was of course dogs sounding impressively scary and also sounding like they'd scratch their way through the door any second... I thought... 'wow, this truly is karma purifying day in relation to dogs' or lady chaos up to her old tricks again since she enjoys tangents..not that I am superstitious...no not at all..finally a man opened a window... he said in french that overnight stay with ½ pension was 29 euro...it seemed a bit high but it meant dinner and breakfast... I was in a worn out enough, that I accepted his price.. again thinking this was the only gite for another 15kms... he then came and opened the gate to let me in... two large friendly aggressive dogs lunged at me.. I knew they probably did not want to bite...and the owner tried to convince me as one of them was about to knock me over ...'gentle'.... I tried to pretend this was true...it was also established that I dont speak a lick of french so the neighbor who was also outside came over and assisted... he too said I should not be afraid of the dogs...but I was clearly being traumatized more by my mind than anything but it sure felt real... we also established that I was a vegetarian and that eggs and cheese were okay.... then I was ushered in and brought to the gite which was above the garage... once I was safely inside I felt better...but I was sure I could never leave again for fear of giant happy pushy loud dogs...i got the tour of the place ..it looked brand new...and the bathroom had a huge shower... I liked it...i was the only one... I had some time to rest up and shower before dinner and so I did... I heard the man depart by car presumably to go shopping for dinner... I also stopped hearing dog... at the appointed time I dared to go downstairs.. I was not assaulted... he had put the dogs somewhere else all because of me...too kind... I had dinner on his terrace... his house looked really large and the garden well kept... I got salad with amazing tomatoes... omelet and potatoes fried with zucchini... also white cheese that is like a cream with berry sauce for desert..we squared the bill and my credentials as is usual in the evenings... and then he asked if I wanted to see his horse and donkeys... in french... he tried to be friendly and talk to me...i only understood some... I went into the field with his three animals... not too close..cuz they are big and yeah... I am not a country person...but they seemed all very calm and gentle and I think the man had brought me here because of the peacefulness, because he'd seen how stressed I got with the dogs...he wanted me to have a good animal experience... the horse was his best friend he said..(i think) he had ridden it for ten days in the Pyrenees... one of the donkeys was shy and kept away it was still loosing winter fur... the other donkey …. he described it as very intelligent and gentle... I watched as he petted it and rubbed it...it seemed to enjoy it but also it hung it's head and it's lower lip quivered...
as if it had not gotten love in a long long time... I am sure it is not true..the man clearly loved his animals...but the donkey like Eeyore, from Winiie the Pooh,was incredibly good at looking very very sad...
after this little visit, it was my bed time... I was very tired... again it took a while for the heat to cool enough for me to sleep...
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