5-13-10 Albenga to Marina di Andora day 39

5-13-10 Albenga to Marina di Andora day 39

the camp ground was at the beginning of Albenga so I had not finished walking into town yet.. my hostess wished me well and I left my little trailer... the sun was out.. I could not see beach for a while because the raised rail line was still blocking the view, but there were flower farms and artichoke farms to look at the other side... eventually I entered Albenga it was a subdued town not as geared towards tourism... I did get to walk along side walk for a while..but of course that changed as I approached another windy cliff area on S1 again I chose to walk on the inside lane with traffic and I was still unnerved at how close they drive to you and with blind turns I doubted their ability to react in time if they were driving the turn too quick.. I noticed that fear was replaced by anger its pretty much same coin.. as one buddhist teacher pointed out.. if you look under your anger there is fear, if you look under that fear, there is more anger and again under that more fear... so I knew I was just trying to pump up courage which anger seems to sometimes call forth... but again too, this section came to an end...and again I went into the opposite realm of comfortable stroll along a beach-front town, Alassio...

I dont know what kind of magic Alassio had but it so far seemed the most affluent of the beach towns and beach going here was already in season... lots of tourists from northern europe out on lounges absorbing the 'sun cure'.... as I noticed the increase of wealth so too i noticed, my judgment rising up to greet it.. Apparently my inner socialist awoke and became the inner critic questioning the excessive wealth and the character of those who had it...i noticed my judgment and tried to just open..but I am still a judger of this... I found a little church and sat in it for a while..then along the beach through another town, now less affluent... but they still figured out how to attract some tourist dollars .. I saw para-sailing and windsurfing, and even two surfers trying to ride not very big waves.. it was fairly windy which also makes the sections along the cliff more scary because the wind gets strong up there.. My feet were sore early today.. and I seem to be forgetting that my mission was walking.. I felt distracted... on longer meditation retreats although they are always different.. I definitely go through a pattern of being diligent and discipline for a while...but then my endurance kind of breaks down for a while and I start almost forgetting why I am there and I have to keep reminding myself to get back to the task at hand.. it is a form of laziness to do with avoidance... this is kind of how I would describe where I was at the last two days.. it was kind of comforting to realize that in some ways this pilgrimage followed the familier patterrns of my mind on retreat.. I know how to work with that....at the end of Marina di Andora, a place I decided to stay for the night, I found a bar with free wifi so I had lunch-dinner there, giant salad with cheese, corn, tomatoes and all sorts of greens..it attracted teen agers so it was a bit noisy ..but I sat and interneted before even getting a room... getting too comfident perhaps... then around seven I tried one of the hotels.. no rooms, because some sports team seemed to be staying there. Then I headed back towards town hoping I had not been stupid wasting so much time lounging.. but I found another hotel.. I thought it was a bit high for the place but decided I should stay..later I realized I had misheard the price..and it was cheaper... sadly again I woke up and was awake for a long time before going to bed again.. so not a full nights sleep..