6-1-10 St-Martin-de-Crau to Arles to day 58

6-1-10 St-Martin-de-Crau to Arles to day 58
there was again a bit of hesitation about getting going... but did eventually hit the road.. had coffee along the way... and stopped at an open church...which was very simply decorated... I had to myself and tried to center myself before I started walking..i did not really have anyone to ask about the path ahead... I knew it would only be 16kms to Arles... I took a road on my map which was lead straight into town... again there was a good wind blowing...i passed through several traffic circles... eventually one said something like 'scenic road' to Arles..so I took that one... mostly I think the scenic piece meant it had arcades of trees covering the road which did look pretty... it certainly helped block some of the wind and also of course shade... unfortunately it did not leave room for a margin to walk out of traffic.. so I was walking along the road until oncoming traffic and then I would step into the grassy side... I still had foot soreness and felt not super energized so even though it was an easier day I had to apply some of that stubborn discipline to keep going.. I know I need an off day...but I was fixated on getting to Arles because it was the first town of the active part of the pilgrimage..and I was apparently ready to make it official..as if up until now it was a trail run...there was some towns I went through so I was able to get the request caffeine and water and at some point water... the second half of the road trip.. the cars seemed to need to go faster and I felt they were less patient with having me in the road.. I stopped at one point and watched big and small birds on this one patch of green having their disputes but also sometimes struggling with the winds and or playing in the winds...depending on their size and what the wind was doing... I did finally reach Arles late afternoon... I found the tourist office... and told the girl I would be working with that I was a pilgrim...she gave me some addresses with phone numbers... then showed me on the map two of the locations..when I asked her if I could just show up there she said yes..i went to both addresses whipping past the towns interesting sights thinking I would get to enjoy them a bit later... at both instances no one answered the door when I rang... so frustrated I went back to the tourist office ..waited in line and dealt with the same girl again.. I told her that no one answered the door...i was not traveling with a mobile phone and besides I dont speak french so I probably would not get very far...so somewhat reluctantly she started calling for me.. two places were not interested in late arrivels but one place would be open..turns out she had given me the wrong address to this one...it was actually located outside of town..she said a twenty minute walk, I looked at the map and doubted that... but I was fixated.. I am a pilgrim, I must stay at a pilgrimage place... this late in the day stubbornness reasserting itself... there was also a youth hostel at another end of town...but I decided this would be my destination... again I walked passed some cool looking places.. the church was now closed, the amphitheater and an old roman coliseum... charming lavender product shops... restaurants... past the old town walls...past the train station...into a part of town...loosing it's glamor and wealth... the walk seemed to take for-ever... but eventually found the landmarks I was suppose to look for and then the street...it was a private residential street.... and a bit to my surprise so was the address I was suppose to go to...i was dubious... I had spotted a somewhat seedy looking hotel ten minutes back which would be option b..should this proof a mistake... a woman mid-aged came out... she spoke only french...but pretty much the first thing she said was … I had to pay a mandatory 20 euro donation.. I did not mind the price but I was put off by her manner..and that she was so fixated on money immediately...i agreed to the amount.. then the gate still closed to me..she asked for my credentials... I showed them... I think she wanted to see a stamp from the last town I was in as some sort of confirmation that I was not some random creep..but the last town I had stayed in a hotel.. but I pulled out my map and showed her the places i'd stayed and which direction I was headed... she let me in through the back of the house... it was a home.. the downstairs was for pilgrims … it was actually a nice little home.. and I felt awkward being this somewhat mistrusted stranger who would be staying at her house... but she let me in..showed me a nice room with bath...showed me the down stairs kitchen.... and then brought some food down for me...she asked me what time I wanted to get up..she asked 7am? I thought wow, no not yet... so I went for 8 am ..this seemed okay with her.. I got the sense she was eager to set my on the road again as soon as possible... she showed me the envelope were to pay.. and breakfast stuff like where the french press was and the water heater... there was not much friendly chemistry between us but it was not hostile either...but I still felt a bit strange... I had expected more of a little center maybe attached to a church with dorm rooms.. not a private persons downstairs of a house... she then retired upstairs and I heard her lock the upstairs door behind me... I ate my meal which was almost vegetarian and actually kind of sweet... it was some sort of quiche derivative egg dish, I discovered it had little pits of pork in which I pulled out.. a little salad, some baguette bread and Camembert... and for desert a little chocolate pudding and half a melon... after I did washing of self and some laundry which I hung in the shower to dry...then journal and mantra...but sleep was intermittent … I woke a lot and stayed awake for long periods... I think it had to do with the energy of my introduction to this house...i notice...that there is a danger of playing the 'could a-should a game' were in retrospect I kick myself for not having taken this or that action instead... ie just go to the damn youth hostel in the first place...but then I have to be honest and kind to myself... it is not that I can predict what will work out or not..what is a good idea or not... until after the fact..that's the whole point of this kind of travel... you have to make decisions blind and then deal with what ever arises out of that decision as congenially as possible.. no need to create disturbed mind ..but playing 'could-a-should-a' that just creates further unnecessary suffering... besides, I was safe, warm, dry... resting my legs...clean and fed... and a total stranger took me into her home, and not only that I was a foreigner who did not even speak her language.....now that is something....and all based on an idea called 'pilgrim'
….of course I slept deeply and dreamt about 15 mins before alarm went off...i realized the next day when she stamped my credentials, for she did have the stamp...that now if I was to find another private persons house in the next town..this stamp would vouch for me... I had passed the test of being a good enough guest so that the next host could trust I behaved within the realms of decency... of course the next town it would be different situation again...